How to practice self-compassion: 5 exercises to boost self-kindness

  1. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness and the practice of being fully aware and present in the moment is essential for self-compassion. Being aware of your self-critical thoughts allows you to respond to them with kindness rather than condemnation.

How? Keep your focus on the here and now. Observe your emotions and ideas without passing judgment on them. You can develop awareness with simple practices like body scanning or meditation.

  1. Recognize your common humanity

It’s a universal aspect of being human that everyone encounters difficulties and makes blunders. Remind yourself that others have gone through similar struggles and emotions when you feel alone. Being aware lessens emotions of isolation and loneliness and helps to normalize your experiences.

How? Reflect on a difficult moment you’ve gone through and then consider how others might have felt in similar situations. Zooming out and seeing your experience from a different perspective fosters a sense of connection and shared human experience. It makes it simpler to treat oneself with the same compassion that you would someone else experiencing a similar situation.

  1. Speak to yourself as you would a friend

As you would a close friend, treat yourself with respect. Be understanding of your current requirements and speak in an encouraging manner.

How? Ask yourself questions like, “How would I comfort a friend in this situation?” and “What supportive words would I offer to someone else that I can say to myself now?” You can use these questions as a guide to make sure you treat yourself with the same compassion you show others.

  1. Respond to challenges with compassion

Consider altering your response to your own errors and failures. Rather than being hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned, respond with compassion and understanding. It’s about accepting that things won’t always go as planned, and that’s alright.

How? Remind yourself that you tried your hardest and that you may learn from the experience if you didn’t perform well on a task instead of berating yourself.

  1. Practice self-soothing

The goal of self-soothing is to provide both physical and emotional solace for oneself. It’s a method to be compassionate and mindful of your own body and mind, particularly when things are difficult. You can try self-soothing by engaging in mild activities that reassure and comfort you, such as having a warm bath, enjoying a leisurely stroll, or listening to relaxing music. Another form of self-soothing is compassionate self-touch, such as placing a hand over your heart or giving yourself a gentle hug. These tactile cues can have a profoundly relaxing impact, lowering tension and fostering sentiments of security and ease.

How? Ensure your mind and body are well. “How can I support and comfort myself right now?” ask yourself. This can be achieved by taking it slowly, eating healthily, getting adequate sleep, or even just giving yourself a hug or holding your own hand. For bodily calming, you might also try some soft yoga poses or deep breathing techniques. These behaviors convey to yourself a sense of warmth and care.

Ayurveda Recipes: Coconut Butter

Coconut Butter is a delightfully creamy whole food, made of pure, dried coconut flesh. This tasty tropical treat literally melts in your mouth. Warm it up to use as a spread. Or, add to smoothies, sauces & dressings, desserts, toppings & icings. It even works great in home-made ice cream. Its many names testify to the rich creaminess of coconut butter; it’s also known as coconut cream, coconut oil butter and coconut body butter.
Ingredients
4 c COCONUT FLAKES
Instructions
Coconut butter contains only one ingredient: coconut flakes. And it takes only one step to make it: a blender. The yield for 4 cups of coconut flakes is about a cup and half of coconut butter.
Start with raw, dried, unsweetened coconut flakes. Puree 4 cups of coconut flakes in a blender on high for 8 minutes, pushing down the sides as you go. The coconut flakes will undergo 3 stages in the transformation to coconut butter. First, the flakes will be finely ground. Second, the texture will become a grainy liquid. Finally, it will become a smooth, thick liquid. The final texture will ultimately be thick, slightly grainy peanut butter.
Pour the coconut butter into a jar and serve!

Emotionally Draining Friendships

Signs of Emotionally Draining Friendships
It’s possible that everyone around you is a drama queen, a chronic complainer, or an emotional wreck. When you spend time with them or talk on the phone, they have a way of draining your energy and leaving you feeling emotionally spent.
Some people have little trouble identifying these individuals in their lives. However, if you’re unsure whether a buddy of yours is mentally taxing, have a look at this list of indicators. In addition to observing your friend’s actions, you should search for hints in your own answers.
What You Might Experience
Observing your reactions to your friend during conversations or social interactions is crucial in determining whether or not they are an emotionally draining friend. It’s possible that the friendship is negatively impacting your emotional well-being. These are some clear indicators that your friend can be mentally exhausting you.
Your relationship or friendship is emotionally or physically exhausting, and you experience anxiety, fatigue, or frustration when you talk or hang out with your friend.You regularly make sacrifices to make sure your friend’s needs are met.You worry about their issues more than you do about your own well-being.Your positive feelings for them are starting to disappear.You can’t be yourself around them, or you censor your thoughts and feelings.You don’t get a chance to ask for their advice or support.You no longer enjoy spending time with them or dread talking with them.
Emotionally Draining Behaviors
Perhaps there are just more problems with your friend than there seem to be. Alternatively, it’s possible that your friend is experiencing a really difficult time and isn’t handling it well. For the reason, you might want to take a moment to reflect on whether or not this is a healthy friendship if you see any of these indicators in your friend.
Your friend vents to you nonstop or seems to always be in crisis.Your friend never asks how you’re doing, takes an interest in your life, or listens when you need to vent.Your friend has an endless list of needs and expectations.Your friend’s problems are always bigger, worse, or more extreme than yours.Your friend uses guilt and manipulation when you’re not there for them.Your friend is rarely happy for you and often struggles with envy and jealousy.Your friend wants all the attention and monopolizes the conversation.Your friend doesn’t know how to move on or let things go.Your friend has low self-esteem, needs constant reassurance, and lacks self-awareness.Your friend never thanks you for being there for them.

Balancing Butterfly Pose (Malasana)

What is Balancing Butterfly Pose?
Balancing butterfly pose is a variation of malasana or garland pose. Here, the yogi balances on the toes with the hands in prayer. The pose stretches the feet and develops both strength and balance.
Instructions
Begin standing with the feet together.Exhale and lower into a squat.Place the fingertips on the floor in front of the feet to find stability. Open the knees wide and lift onto the toes, bringing the balls of the feet and heels to touch.Slowly bring the hands to prayer in front of the chest and then toward the sky.Breathe while holding the pose.Place the fingertips on the floor, bring the knees together, and inhale to stand.

Show Me Your Temper

A Zen student came to Bankei and complained: “Master, I have an ungovernable temper. How can I cure it?”
“You have something very strange,” replied Bankei. “Let me see what you have.”
“Just now I cannot show it to you,” replied the other.
“When can you show it to me?” asked Bankei.
“It arises unexpectedly,” replied the student.
“Then,” concluded Bankei, “it must not be your own true nature. If it were, you could show it to me at any time. When you were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you. Think that over.”