| Are you finding that you’re taking things personally and being overly sensitive in your relationships with others? Do people generally think you overreact to the smallest thing, which leaves you feeling alone, confused, and upset? Do you require assistance controlling your emotions? |
| You might feel imprisoned by your own responses if this kind of circumstance keeps happening and spirals out of control. If this strikes a chord with you and you’re prepared to consider why this keeps happening to you, you might want to consider the reasons behind your emotional reactivity. |
| Signs that you are being emotionally reactive: |
| You take offense at the little thing.Frequently, your response is excessive for the circumstances.You frequently storm off in a cloud of self-righteousness when things aren’t going exactly to plan.You believe circumstances have CAUSED your reaction, leaving you feeling buffeted by the storms of life.People find you prickly and hard to be around.If you think someone has criticized you, you may get defensive and resentful.You can become consumed by rage at any time and in response to the smallest provocation.Your outbursts may have a theme, but you’re not sure what it is. |
| Some tips to support you to be less reactive |
| Think about responding rather than reacting |
| This can entail redefining your perspective on life. Remind yourself that you are not a victim of your circumstances and that you have the power to react differently when things don’t work out as planned. |
| Take a breath |
| Give yourself a millisecond’s grace before responding. When you sense that you are going to lose it or become furious over something, stop, take a deep breath, and analyze the problem from a different angle. Is it the situation, or is it some dynamic within the situation that is pressing on an old wound? |
| Get to know your triggers |
| Finding out what’s truly bothering you may take some time, but doing so might help you become far less reactive. Try to cultivate a part of yourself that “observes” what you’re doing, thinking, and feeling over time. Observe every moment you were about to respond and record it, rather than letting yourself react. After things have quieted down, consider your responses and try to identify the underlying feeling that might be behind them. The next time you sense an impending reaction, you may identify it for what it is: merely a trigger. |
| Replenish your energy |
| Because you have less energy reserves to work with when you’re feeling exhausted and depleted, you may become more irritable than usual. Schedule activities for your week that will refuel you instead of depleting it. This can include static, soothing hobbies like mindfulness or meditation; dynamic ones like fitness and exercise; and artistic endeavors like writing, coloring, sketching, cooking, or gardening. To feel more centered and in touch with yourself, it can also just require setting aside some time to check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. |
| Re-phrase your script |
| Try accepting responsibility for your emotions and owning up to your feelings rather than placing blame on other people by expressing things like “you made me angry when you forgot to call me.” Try stating this instead: “I started to feel forgotten and disregarded when you didn’t call me at the time we’d agreed upon. What I’d like you to do is text me if you can’t call at the time we talked about.” Your communication style has a profound impact on your level of reactivity. |
Anna Godfrey 